


Lonely

by alloevera



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Sad Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alloevera/pseuds/alloevera
Summary: Where Oikawa tries to find who he is outside of volleyball with a little help.A story I wrote after realizing the childish, confident front he puts up in the show is nothing but that- just a front.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this all in a few days so please don't judge :() I just wanted to write Oikawa as I see him- a character who puts up his confident, playful front just to mask how lonely he is on the inside. Let's be honest, as much as he flirts around, he just seems...lonely. But anyways, I hope you enjoy this :}
> 
> Also to clear up confusion, the text in ' ' usually represents Oikawa's thoughts unless stated otherwise.
> 
> Edit: Also, if it helps you picture the story better, I pictured Megara's friend Akira as Mito from Food Wars :} 
> 
> Happy reading!

“Toru! Stop staring, you’re gonna freak her out,” Iwa scolded. Oikawa sighed, adjusting his glasses and burying his head in his arms. It was lunchtime, but Oikawa’s bento sat untouched. Instead, he was spending the time staring at Megara. Megara Nakamura had recently transferred to Japan from Korea, and despite being relatively new, she’d assimilated into Aobajohsai High as if she’d always been there. She joined the girl’s volleyball club as a libero and made many friends, some from the boy’s team. However, frustratingly enough, she had made no attempt to talk to Oikawa. She was close to everyone on the team but Oikawa, and he absolutely hated it.

“Yo! Megara!” a familiar voice called from the classroom door. Oikawa looked up, startled to find Kentaro. ‘What the hell?’ Oikawa thought to himself. ‘She’s even friends with the mad dog?’

“Kentaro-san! What are you doing here?” She grinned, running up to the door. Oikawa, who sat near the door, buried his head deeper into his arms and pretended to not be eavesdropping. Iwaizumi, noticing this, just sighed. The shithead was hopeless.

“A bunch of the guys and I are gonna hang out after school, wanna come?” Oikawa’s eyes widened. Since when was Kentaro so social? The last he’d known, Kentaro spent his time after school practicing volleyball. That’s all they did right? The team didn’t have time for anything else. ‘I don’t have time for anything but volleyball,’ Oikawa reminded himself. ‘I certainly don’t have time for some girl but…’

He looked up and casually glanced at Megara. She had wavy, jet black hair that flowed down to her waist. Her purple eyes screamed royalty, and as if she needed to make herself cuter, the pastel multicolor butterfly clips in her hair just made Oikawa want to hug her. Her cheeks always had a cloud of light rosy dust, and her eyes always seemed to sparkle. 

There was something about Megara that Oikawa couldn’t shake, and he couldn’t tell if he hated it or loved it.

-

After school, Oikawa decided to head to the local convenience store before practice. Even after the embarrassing defeat at quarterlies, the team decided to keep playing in local competitions and strengthening for next year. ‘Next year…when I won’t be there,’ Oikawa thought, frowning. He would be training to go professional, and although it was grander than a small high school team, Oikawa knew that there was just something about the atmosphere that he’d miss.

“Meg-chan, weren’t you gonna spend time with some guys after school?” A voice from the aisle over spoke. A chill ran down Oikawa’s spine. ‘Holy hell, does this girl follow me around wherever I go?’ He suddenly found himself very engrossed with the different brands of milk bread. 

“Yeah,” Megara sighed, “but I decided not to. They were just going to hang around some stores or something. Besides, we have that big math test next week, remember? I have to study hard, or my mom’s gonna take away my allowance.”

“Crap! I almost forgot about that test!” The other girl exclaimed. ‘So did I,’ Oikawa mentally grunted. Math was definitely not the first thing on his mind right now. “Y’know Meg, when Kentaro came to our classroom during lunch, I for sure thought he was asking you out. He definitely has a crush on you!” Oikawa felt his stomach drop, but he didn’t know why. Why did it matter? Kentaro was a brute, but deep inside, Oikawa knew for sure the boy would never hurt a fly. 

“Really?” Megara asked in disbelief. “I don’t know, Akari. I’m pretty new, and I don’t think any guy would crush on me.” ‘That’s definitely wrong,’ Oikawa thought, almost scoffing at how ignorant the girl was. Oikawa knew for a fact he wasn’t the only one entranced by her. Sure, she was new, but that just served to intensify her fanbase. Hers was almost scarier than Oikawa’s. Especially since she was so social and welcoming, guys practically followed her in the hallways. They just didn’t approach her because she wasn’t as openly flirty as he was, and guys were scared of how she’d react. He could make a list of names off the top of his head, including guys from the track and basketball team. 

“Bull! You’re plenty pretty, and I’ve definitely seen some of the guys in our class stare at you during lessons including the ‘Grand King’ himself.” Oikawa’s eyes widened. ‘Do I stare that much? And what’s with that mocking tone?’

“Really? I think you’re seeing stuff, Akari. Toru-kun has a whole fanbase to choose from. Plus, he’s probably just daydreaming about volleyball.” Oikawa frowned. His fanbase, although he’d admittedly fanned their flames, was something he’d never asked for. He just thought that flirting around a little bit had been fun, but it was too late to stop once the fanbase grew. He smiled and joked and flirted, but inside, he couldn’t care less about any of them. “I do feel bad for him though,” she added. This truly shocked Oikawa. Did she pity him? Why? ‘There’s nothing to pity,’ he furiously thought to himself. ‘I’m the best on the team. I’m amazing. I have everything I could ever want. What could she possibly pity?’

“I don’t think he’s happy,” Megara sighed. “I know it’s weird, but I’ve been…observing him? All he does is play volleyball. His friends ARE the volleyball team, and they hang out by practicing. And he has such a big fanbase and smiles with all of them, but once they pass, the smile drops. I just don’t think he’s truly happy, Akari.”

“Woah, that’s deep,” Akari said in a dreamy tone. “I’ve never really thought about him like that. I just know him as the arrogant King of Volleyball. But you’re right, I guess. I’ve never seen him as anything but the game.” 

Oikawa felt sick.

He was kneeling in the aisle, a packaged milk bread in his hand. But he wasn’t looking at the bread. He couldn’t even finish listening to their conversation. 

No, he wasn’t happy. 

His old girlfriend had broken up with him because he’d been too obsessed with volleyball to pay her any attention. He lived to play volleyball. He breathed volleyball. Even at home, where he couldn’t practice as much, he watched professional matches and took mental notes. His entire life revolved around the game.

And he lost to Kageyama. He lost to the brat.

His entire life revolved around a game that he’d lost.

He didn’t realize he was crying until he realized the voices had stopped. He looked up and practically jumped. Megara and Akari were looking at him, shocked looks on their faces. 

“T-toru-kun! I didn’t realize you were here!” Akari spoke up. ‘You’re in my class, but I’ve never seen your face before. You’re irrelevant to me,’ Oikawa thought furiously to himself. ‘You’re irrelevant, so why do your words hurt so much?’

The girls stared at him, and he stared back, tears silently trickling down his cheeks. It was silent between them, but Oikawa saw the look in Megara’s eyes. He knew that she knew she’d been right. Megara lightly nudged Akira, who took it as a sign to dash out of the CVS. “Wait! Aki-chan! I was just telling you to get a ti- and she’s gone,” Megara sighed, turning her gaze back onto Oikawa. His throat was as dry as sandpaper. He was supposed to be the “Great King”, yet here he was, crying in front of a girl he barely knew. 

“You’re right,” he choked out. 

“Right? About what?” Megara said gently, although she already knew the answer.

“I’m not happy,” Oikawa murmured. “I’m…not happy at all.” He looked down, focusing on the tip of his shoe. Suddenly, he was pulled up by strong arms. Megara pulled him into a tight hug, and even though she was a good six inches shorter than him, it felt surprisingly nice. ‘It’s been a while, huh?’ He thought to himself. Ever since his girlfriend left, he hadn’t had much interaction in his life besides for his team, who were not that into hugging. He wrapped one arm around Megara’s back, using the other to stroke her hair. 

After a while, the two pulled away in silence. Oikawa cleared his throat, picking up his favorite brand of milk bread. He was about to walk away like nothing ever happened, but Megara’s quiet voice spoke up. “I’m Megara Nakamura. You can call me whatever you want.”

“I know your name,” Oikawa said directly. Megara blushed, taken aback by how forward he was. “What? You know mine.”

“Well yeah, but that’s because-“

“Because I’m the “Great King” and all,” Oikawa finished. “But you’re friends with a lot of my friends, and you’re pretty popular for good reasons. People call you kind. Don’t discredit yourself.” Megara blushed again. ‘She’s easily flustered,’ Oikawa thought, a small smile on his lips. ‘Cute.’

“Alright, well it’s a weird timing but do you want my number?” It was Oikawa’s turn to be surprised, but she quickly came to her defense. “I’m not flirting! I just…know what it’s like to be in your state and it might be nice to have someone outside of your team to talk to? I know it sounds dumb and stuff but-“

“No, it’s a kind offer,” Oikawa said. “It’s kind, but I don’t really give out my number because of the fangirls.” Her face dropped, and surprisingly, Oikawa found himself feeling guilty for insinuating that she’d ever give out his number. “But I’ll make an exception?” Her face immediately perked up, and her smile made Oikawa smile. ‘She’s like a golden retriever,’ he smiled, holding in a laugh. ‘So easy to read, too. Adorable.’ The two exchanged phones, Oikawa entering “Great King” into his contact name. 

“Text me anytime, Toru-san!” Megara smiled. The two walked up to the cashier. Oikawa motioned for Megara to pay first. She put two bottles of peach soda on the counter, and the cashier began to scan them.

“You can drop the formalities. Just call me Oikawa. All my friends do,” Oikawa said cooly. On the inside, he was panicking. He hadn’t done this in a long time- talking to people outside the team, that is. Megara’s eyes lit up at the word “friends”, and she eagerly nodded, paying for her items. 

“Then just call me Meg!” She said cheerfully. She turned to leave, but stopped in her tracks. “Goodbye, Oikawa! I’ll talk to you later?” Oikawa just nodded and she smiled, practically bouncing out the door. When she was gone Oikawa just sighed, a small smile on his face.

What had he just gotten himself into?

-

After finishing his homework, Oikawa plopped himself onto his bed. He opened his laptop to watch volleyball games but stopped himself. ‘I’m not going to nationals. I think I can take a day off of volleyball…right? I’ve practiced for today, anyways.’ He sighed, his mind blank. What did normal people do in their free time? Megara popped into his mind. Maybe she had ideas? He opened his phone and found her contact. ‘ “Meg! :)” Adorable. She’s so adorable.’

'Yo'?

No, that’s too casual.

'Hey!'?

Too perky?

'Hey'?

Casual enough.

Great King  
Hey

Meg! :)  
Hi!  
I didn’t expect you to text me so quickly lol

Great King  
Sorry?

Meg! :)  
No, it’s fine!  
What’s up?

Great King  
What do you do in your free time?

Meg! :)  
Huh?

Great King  
I just want to do something outside of volleyball.  
Usually I spend my time before bed watching games but I want to…switch it up?  
Got any ideas?

Meg! :)  
Youtube!  
Not volleyball games tho  
Don’t you watch anything outside of volleyball?

Oikawa pondered over it a little, but Megara beat him to it.

Meg! :)  
Don’t answer that.

He chuckled. For someone that’d known him for such a short period of time, she sure seemed to understand him more than most of the people at Aobajohsai.

Meg! :)  
Idk  
I like watching vlogs!

Great King  
Vlogs?

Meg! :)  
People videotaping what they do in a day!  
I like watching people cook :)

Great King  
That doesn’t sound like something I’d like lol  
Sorry  
Got anything else?

Meg! :)  
Movies!  
Have you watched A Silent Voice?

Great King  
Doesn’t ring a bell

Meg! :)  
Perfect!  
Watch it tonite!  
We can talk abt it tmw >:)  
I just watched it yesterday and none of my friends have so I’ve been dying to talk abt it w someone.

Great King  
Alr

-

Two hours later, tears were streaming down Oikawa’s face. 

He thought he was a serious guy. He thought he rarely let emotions get through to him.

But the movie had torn him into shreds.

He wiped his tears away. It was 1 in the morning, so the rest of the house was asleep. He was trying his best to muffle his sobs with a pillow.

Damn Megara. Damn Megara and her sad movie. Her heartbreaking, gut-wrenching movie.

-

“Oikawa!” Megara’s voice called. It was the free time before classes started, and Oikawa was where he always was- in the courtyard, waiting for Iwaizumi. Oikawa saw some of his fangirls shoot her death stares, and felt some stoic glares getting thrown in his direction. But he brushed them off. They didn’t matter to him. 

“Yo,” Oikawa greeted with a tired smile. Tired because he’d only gotten four hours of sleep. Because he couldn’t stop crying. “You screwed me. So hard.”

“I’m so sorry, but I NEEDED someone to cry with,” Meg laughed. Oikawa couldn’t help but admire her glowing expression. Just being around her made him as happy as when he won a volleyball game.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Iwaizumi walk into the yard. Oikawa was about to shoo him away, but Megara spotted him and waved him over.

“Iwa-san! Have you watched A Silent Voice?”

It was so easy for her. Oikawa was almost jealous. ‘I need a life outside of volleyball,’ he vowed to himself. ‘I can’t let it consume me, and be sad and lonely when I get older. I need to find something that makes me happy.’

He looked at Megara, who was already talking to Iwaizumi about the elaborate breakfast she’d made. She was so happy. 

‘She makes me happy’

-

“Meg! Since when did you and Oikawa talk?” Akira asked. It was lunchtime, and Megara had planned to spend it introducing Oikawa to Akira, but Oikawa was nowhere to be seen. She sighed, and turned her attention back to her blonde friend.

“Since yesterday! When you bolted out and left me behind, that is,” Megara teased, lightly kicking Akira under her desk. Akira chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry about that. In my defense, I panicked!”

“Obviously,” Megara said. “It’s kinda intimidating. I spent my morning with him, and I’ve been getting glares from his fangirls all day.”

“Get used to it! They’re everywhere,” Akira sighed. “I’ve always thought his head was too big for his shoulders, but if I talk about it to anyone but you, they look at me like they want to cut my head off.” The girl sighed, sipping on her strawberry milk. “They’re crazy. I don’t even see what the hype is about.”

“Hey! He’s actually pretty nice if you get to know him. Plus, he’s a lot different from the childish flirty front he puts up.”

“Get to know him? Meg, you’ve known him for a day.”

“Yeah but…I don’t know, I feel like I’ve known him forever? Do I sound like a psycho?”

“100%. Apple slice?”

-

“Iwa, I feel like I’ve known her forever. Do I sound like a crazy person?”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were sitting on the roof. It was where they went during lunch where the two had something serious to talk about. Iwa was Oikawa’s closest friend. He was the only person Oikawa really hung out with outside of practice. They’d talked about everything together, and Iwa had seen Oikawa at his worst. Iwa saw past Oikawa’s fronts, and Oikawa trusted him with his life.

“Honestly, not really. I get it. Milk bread?” Oikawa thanked him, unwrapping the fluffy bread and taking a big bite.

“What do you mean?” Oikawa asked after swallowing. “And what brand of bread is this? It’s really good.”

“My mom baked it. And for your information Trashykawa, it’s called friendship. It’s what normal people feel when they find someone they really bond with.” 

“I’m not trashy!” Oikawa protested. “And I do bond with people!”

“We’re eating lunch by ourselves on the roof. Can you really make that argument?”

“I could be eating lunch with any of my fangirls. Or with any of the guys in our class! I talk to them!”

“Only when you need to. And you only make small talk with them. Have you ever really bonded with anyone outside of volleyball?”

Oikawa just slapped Iwa in the back of his head. Iwa just chuckled, shaking it off.

“I’m glad you’re bonding with her though. Megara’s a really nice person, and honestly, you need someone besides for me to drag to volleyball games.” Oikawa stayed silent, the image of Meg’s smiling face filling his mind.

“Yeah, she’s amazing.”

“You’ve been talking for a day though, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Shut it.”

-

“I never realized you live so close to me, Oikawa,” Meg said, a slight smile on her face. The two were walking home together after volleyball practice. Oikawa just shrugged, still sweaty from practice.

“Hey, you don’t have to, but would you mind helping me study for the math test? It’s one of my worst subjects and you’re the best in class.” Oikawa sounded casual, but internally he was freaking out. ‘God, I sound so entitled. Just be cool!’ “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” ‘Now it just sounds like I’m guilt-tripping her. I hate myself.’

“Sure! Wanna come over?” 

“That’s good!” Oikawa grinned. “Thanks, Meg.” The two walked together to Megara’s house, Meg avidly talking about the cat she’d seen on her way to school that morning. Meg lived in a basic Japanese house. However, when she opened the door, Oikawa was shocked. For how put together Meg looked, her house was downright messy. The living room had random clothing items thrown on the floor and on the furniture. In the kitchen, there was a pile of undone dishes in the sink. Oikawa opened his mouth to point it out, but closed it once he saw how flustered Meg was.

“I’m sorry for the mess. My mom’s out working most of the time, and I don’t get around to cleaning much.” She didn’t mention her father, so Oikawa mentally noted to not bring it up.

“It’s fine. My house would be a wreck without my mom,” Oikawa smiled. Meg grabbed some milk cartons out of the fridge, and the two headed up to her room to study. Her room, to Oikawa’s relief, was relatively neat. A twin bed with a few stuffed animals in the corner, a dresser, and a desk. There were posters of some k-pop groups on the walls, and a body-length mirror in the corner. “Homey,” Oikawa said, plopping himself onto her desk chair. 

“Yeah. It’s not much, but I spend most of my time here,” Meg said. “So, what do you need to review?”

-

After a few hours (and a lot of breaks on Oikawa’s part), Meg was certain Oikawa couldn’t fail his test. The two were relaxing, huddling on the bed and watching a k-drama on Meg’s laptop. Oikawa didn’t understand what they were saying, but was following along with the Japanese subtitles. Still, it didn’t really interest him. His interest fell upon the girl entranced with the show. She’d tied her dark hair up, but a few strands had managed to fall free, framing her face. No matter what, she was stunning.

“Nakamura isn’t a very Korean last name. Where’d you get it?” Oikawa asked. Without taking her eyes off the screen, Meg answered.

“It’s my mom’s. I’m half Japanese and half Korean. I grew up speaking both dialects, which is why transferring to a Japanese high school was so easy for me.”

“That’s cool. I wish I was half Korean. All the guys there seem so attractive,” Oikawa joked. Meg giggled, then turned to face him and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t worry, Okra! You’re plenty attractive already.”

“Okra?” Oikawa blushed, flustered at the cute nickname.

“Your name sounds like it. Do you mind if I call you that?”

“Call me whatever you want,” Oikawa said, beaming. ‘Yours. Call me yours.’

“But yeah! Even without any Korean influence, you’ve got half the girls at school willing to lick your shoes clean.” 

“I do,” Oikawa bragged, a smug smile on his face. “I do, but I’d never actually date any of them.”

“I know,” Meg smiled, turning her attention back to the drama. She didn’t take her hand out of Oikawa’s hair though. Instead, she continued to stroke it, as if she was scratching a dog. Oikawa hated that he loved it. “You just use them to fan your ego.”

“Well that makes me sound mean!” Oikawa pouted, crossing his arms against his chest. “It’s not like you’re any better. Y’know you’ve got your own fanbase, right?” Meg’s eyes widened. Apparently she didn’t. Oikawa cleared his throat, pretending to be interested in the drama. “Yeah, there’s a bunch of guys that like you.”

“Oh,” Meg said absentmindedly. She turned back to the drama as if nothing had happened.

“Oh?” Oikawa asked, one of his brows raised in curiosity.

“Oh as in oh, I never thought any guy would think of me in that way,” Meg said, a light blush on her cheeks. “To be honest, it’s kind of flattering.”

“But?”

“…but I couldn’t imagine dating someone who’s obsessed over me. That would be weird.”

“Now you know how I feel!” Oikawa grinned. But Meg frowned.

“Damn. This sucks! How do you like this?” Oikawa just shrugged.

“It’s like you said. Fans my self-esteem. Plus, some of them are really good bakers.” That got a laugh out of Meg, who just continued to stroke Oikawa’s hair.

“Shouldn’t you go soon?” Oikawa hadn’t been paying attention to the time. He checked his phone and realized he had missed calls from his mom.

9:30.

“9:30?! Shit, my mom’s gonna kill me!” Oikawa sprung out of bed, rushing to pack his things. “Thanks for today Meg, I really appreciate it!”

“No problem! Drop by anytime!” That made Oikawa stop in his tracks.

“Anytime? Do you mean it?”

“Well, my mom’s rarely home, so yeah. I mean it,” Meg grinned. “Besides, it gets lonely being by myself so much.” She’d added in the last part quieter, but Oikawa picked it up. Maybe Meg was as lonely as he was?

“I’ll definitely take you up on that. I’ll see you tomorrow, Meggy.”

-

“I can’t believe it! Karasuno gets to face Shiratorizawa and here I am, losing to Kageyama,” Oikawa grumbles. It’s lunchtime, and instead of sitting with just Iwa, the two were sitting with Meg and Akari. It’d been Meg’s idea, and so far, it was actually going pretty okay. Akari was as perky as Oikawa pretended to be, and he found it refreshing that she wasn’t faking- she was just energetic. 

“Are you going to watch the match?” Meg asked. 

“Of course he is,” Iwa grumbled. “Shittykawa drags me to every single volleyball game of Shiratorizawa’s. Especially now since we lost to their rivals.”

“Hey! You love going, don’t deny it!”

“Sounds like fun!” Akari chirped. “I’d go, but I don’t think I’d understand any of it.”

“We should go together!” Meg exclaimed. “It’d be fun! Plus, I could finally explain volleyball to you,” she nudged Akari, who just rolled her eyes and laughed. “C’mon! Maybe you’ll even start coming to my games!”

“Maybe with you girls there, this brat will be more tolerable,” Iwa smiled, ruffling Oikawa’s hair.

“You. Love. Me.”

-

“GO GO KARASUNO! FIGHT FIGHT KARASUNO!”

“God they’re insufferable,” Oikawa groaned, staring at Karasuno’s cheering section. “They’re so loud.”

“They’re a cheering section, I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be loud,” Iwa pointed out. Oikawa just pouted, sticking his tongue out at Iwa. On the inside, he was being tormented. ‘I should be down there. I should be going against Shiratorizawa. Not Kageyama.’ 

“Where are the girls?”

“Here we are!” Akari exclaimed, the two girls walking up the stairs. “Sorry, it took us a while to find you guys. Why on earth would you sit all the way back here?”

“I’d die before letting Kageyama know I’m spending my spare time watching his games,” Oikawa grumbled. Megara just laughed, taking a seat next to him. Both Iwa and Akari noticed this and exchanged knowing looks. 

“Yo, Iwa-san! It’s super sweaty in here. Let’s get some drinks for everyone!” Akari said casually, springing up from her seat.

“Yeah,” Iwa said quickly. The two swiftly bolted down the stairs, leaving Oikawa and Megara alone.

“What’s so bad about Kageyama? He seems super quiet.” Oikawa just scoffed.

“That’s just what he seems like. Deep inside, he has a crazy king mindset. He gets by telling people what to do. I hate it.” Meg was quiet for a second, then started laughing. “What?”

“I’m sorry, but that totally sounds like you. Minus the crazy fanbase.”

“No way! I’m nothing like that cold bastard.”

“Whatever you say,” Meg chuckled. Oikawa took the opportunity to admire her. She was dressed casually, a simple black tank top with jeans and a cardigan. 

“You look pretty today,” Oikawa whispered under his breath.

“Huh?”  
“Nothing. Hey, the match is starting! Where’s damn Iwa when you need him?!”

-

“Karasuno…actually won?” Meg said, in complete and utter disbelief. They were walking out of the stadium, and she was still in shock. The crowd had been as shocked as she was, Shiratorizawa’s crowd grumbling in disbelief. Even Akari, who’d walked into the stadium knowing nothing about volleyball, had tears streaming down her cheeks. This match had definitely been one for the books.

“Damn…Kageyama’s just gonna have a bigger head,” Oikawa sighed. “Too bad. I’ll just have to beat him and deflate it for him.”

“Ruthless. You’re ruthless. And hopeless,” Akira said, wiping the tears off her face. “Karasuno was awesome! That was amazing! Meg, if your matches are anything like that, I’ll definitely start coming.” Meg grinned, tossing an arm over Akira’s shoulders. 

“Karasuno is amazing,” Iwa nodded. “They’ve definitely grown. Too bad we won’t face them again in an arena, but we can always ask coach to request a practice round with them.”

“We won’t lose next time,” Oikawa smiled. “I’ll show him. I’ll show that Kageyama that there are people better than him.”

“Take it easy on Kageyama! He’s just quiet, that’s all,” Meg scolded, elbowing Oikawa in his side. He just shrugged it off.

“Volleyball is a huge part of my life. It’s practically who I am. And to lose to that self-absorbed prick…” Oikawa clenched his fist. Meg noticed, and placed a gentle hand on his back. One touch from her and Oikawa immediately cooled off. Iwa noticed, and realized she was the only one who could do that. He just smiled to himself, letting the two argue over Kageyama.

‘Oikawa finally found someone else to lean on,’ Iwa thought to himself. ‘I didn’t mind, but having someone else will be good for him.’

Iwa watched as Oikawa joked with Meg, a satisfied smile on his lips. Akari watched with the same look. The two met each other’s gazes, and just smiled. 

-

“Oikawa, when I said whenever, I didn’t think you’d be over so much,” Meg chuckled. “Not that I’m complaining, but it would be nice to know that I need to start buying more food.”

“I’ll start bringing snacks over,” Oikawa said, wrapping himself in Meg’s sheets. “I spend so much time here, I should probably contribute to the snack stash.” Now, instead of heading home after volleyball practice, Oikawa spent most of his time at Meg’s house. His mom didn’t mind, she was just glad to see him focusing on something other than volleyball. He even had spare clothes at Meg’s house so he could shower after getting all sweaty at practice. “When you said your mom wasn’t home much, you weren’t kidding. I’ve been over every day for the last 2 weeks and I haven’t seen her yet.”

“Yeah, she’s some kinda traveling lawyer,” Meg explained, sitting criss-cross on top of her bed. “She goes wherever the clients are, so she’s rarely even in town. She just sends me money every week.”

“That’s cool,” Oikawa said, offering Meg a pocky stick. “Honestly, I wish I had as much privacy as you do. I mean I have some, but you basically have the whole house to yourself!”

“Yeah, but it also means I have to do all the chores,” Meg pouted. “It’s a tough payoff, but honestly, I can’t imagine living with my mom. She’s great, don’t get me wrong, I’ve just never spent over a month in the same house as her.”

“Really?” Oikawa asked. “What about when you were little?”

“When I was little, my dad raised me,” Meg said. Oikawa was surprised but tried his best not to show it. She’d seldom mentioned any father figure in her life, so he’d been avoiding it the whole time. “When he…died, my mom decided to move us to Japan. That doesn’t stop her from working though. And I’ve gotten used to running the house by myself.”

“Sorry for that,” Oikawa started, but she just brushed him off.

“It’s fine, really. It was so long ago, and I hardly remember him anymore.” The two stayed in comfortable silence, Meg pulling up the k-drama they’d been watching on her laptop. Oikawa searched Meg’s face for any sign of sadness, but was surprised to find absolutely nothing. ‘Damn. Meg is colder than I thought she was.’

“You don’t have to stare, Okra,” Meg said, a smirk on her face. Oikawa’s face turned a deep pink from getting caught. “If you have something to ask, ask.”

“No, it’s nothing, I just thought you’d be…sadder? Sorry for prying,” Oikawa said quickly, but Meg just brushed it off.

“No, it’s fine. After he passed, my mom just kinda immediately relocated us. Like she was trying to get me a fresh start? But no, I’m not really that sad about it anymore. I barely remember what he looks like.” 

"I get it," Oikawa said, "it's like you've just blocked him out of your brain, right?" Meg nodded, turning her attention back to the drama. 'That's what I do with everything outside of volleyball...' Oikawa lamented, a small frown forming on his lips. Still, he stayed quiet and went back to watching the laptop. 

The two wrapped themselves in Meg’s blankets, a box of tissues nearby. Meg had noticed that Oikawa, despite putting up a strong front, was the absolute biggest crybaby when it came to dramas. He’d tried to hide it at first, but when they watched Banana Fish together, he hadn’t been able to conceal his sobs. If she was being honest, she kind of loved that side of Oikawa- the fragile, delicate side that he buried so deep inside. She watched her friend, so absorbed into the drama, a smile forming on her lips.

“Y’know, Akari thinks it’s weird how close we are.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Meg sighed, opening a bag of chips. “She thinks it’s weird that we spend so much time together even though we only met a few weeks ago.”

“What do you think about it?” Oikawa asked, looking up at her. Deep inside, he dreaded her answer. Megara was honestly someone Oikawa could spend all of his time with and not get sick of. He genuinely cherished their friendship, which was rare. He didn’t want Meg to think it was weird. 

“I think she doesn’t get it,” Meg simply replied, offering the chips to Oikawa. “Oi! Don’t get crumbs on my bed!”

“Sorry,” he chucked, mouth full of chips. “What do you mean?” Meg just smiled, making Oikawa’s stomach flutter.

“I mean…I don’t know. I guess it’s weird?” His stomach dropped. Was this Meg’s way of saying she didn’t want to hang out anymore. “But honestly, I can’t imagine spending this much time with anyone else. I know it sounds weird, but-“

“But I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Oikawa finished. “I feel like you’re the only person who I can open up to? If that makes sense?” Megara nodded, smiling. She was glad that he saw her in the same way.

“It sounds so cliche, y’know? But I just trust you.”

“Yeah, me too. Which is rare, because the only other person I trust is Iwa,” Oikawa said quietly. The two went back into a comfortable silence, Oikawa’s eyes glued to the screen. Then, when he was sure she couldn’t hear him, he quietly whispered “Thank you, Meggy.”

Meg, who could hear him perfectly, just smiled. 

-

“A practice with the enemy?! Meggy, I thought you were better than this,” Oikawa pouted. Meg just laughed, Iwa swiftly kicking Oikawa under the desk.

“I still don’t get your grudge against Karasuno,” Akira stated matter-of-factly. She took a bite of her red bean bun, and then continued “I for one thought they played brilliantly! Meg picking up some of their tips wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

“It’s a matter of pride,” Iwa grunted, picking at his bento. “We lost to them and they know it. And know they’re requesting practices with our girl’s team? It’s a slap in the face.”

“Exactly!” Oikawa exclaimed, a big frown on his face. Meg avoided his sad gaze, choosing to engage in an intense staring contest with her melon bread instead. 

“Well, we lost at preliminaries too,” Meg said quietly, “and we need to get better! Karasuno’s the team to beat now. Plus, it’s not like I’m forcing you to come and watch us.”

“Of course I will!” Oikawa cut in, banging his fist on the desk. “Any match you play, I’m obviously going to watch!” Meg quickly turned away to hide her blush.

“Beat them for us, okay?” Iwa said in a low voice. “Beat them into the ground.”

“I’ll do my best!” Meg said with a confident smile on her face. “Those Karasuno punks won’t know what hit them!”

-

“Damn…they actually beat us!” Asahi sighed, panting. Both teams were absolutely dripping with sweat, but the girls finally came up triumphant, winning 2-1.

“Holy shit! We actually won!” Megara cheered, high-fiving her teammates. “Good job everyone!”

“I didn’t think we would win, I’m gonna be honest,” the ace, Rui, admitted. “I really didn’t think we could.”

“I guess all those late-night practices Meg-chan forced us to attend actually paid off!” The wing spiker Keiji exclaimed, slapping Meg on the shoulder. “Thanks, Meg!”

In reality, the girls had been busting their asses for this one practice match. Meg, true to her word, needed to win for the boys. She’d invited girls from other high school teams to help them practice, even inviting some guys that she’d met through her mother’s job. The Miya twins, whose family had used her mother as a lawyer in the past, were frustrating to work with but provided them with crucial insights on setting strategies. Kuroo taught Meg blocking strategies. And of course, the boy’s team stepped in, especially Oikawa. The entire team had worked day and night to improve their strategy, and Meg was satisfied knowing it’d all paid off.

“Good job, Meggy!” A familiar voice called from the stands. “You showed them!”

“Is that…the great king?” Hinata murmured, looking into the stands. Sure enough, Oikawa was there, giving the girl’s team a standing ovation. Iwa and Akira were there too, except they were looking away and pretending as if they didn’t know Oikawa.

“Sure is,” Kageyama groaned. “He came to watch us lose, and that’s exactly what we did.”

“But we won’t lose next time!” Hinata exclaimed, pointing straight at Meg. Meg’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. She wasn’t even the captain, why was this tiny man singling her out? “Mark my words, okay? Next time, we’ll win!”

“Hinata, stop shouting!” Daichi exclaimed. The captain sighed, ruffling Hinata’s bright orange hair. “Sorry about that…”

“Megara!” Meg said, sticking her hand out. “Megara Nakamura, but my friends call me Meg.” Daichi shook her hand and opened his mouth to introduce himself, but Meg cut him off. “No need. I already know all of your names. Oikawa drilled them into my head.” Daichi chucked, but his eyebrows furrowed in fear.

“And you! Hinata!” Meg exclaimed, jokingly pointing back at him. “We’ll just have to see who wins next time, right?” Hinata’s eyes lit up in passion.

“Right!”

-

“You beat them! I’m so proud of you Meggy!” Oikawa said cheerfully, wrapping Meg in a bear hug. Meg just laughed, hugging him back.

“Thank you! All those late-night practices paid off!” Meg smiled. Iwa and Akira, witnessing this cute scene, decided to stay behind and find a vending machine to get drinks. “I’m glad we won for you.”

“For me?” Oikawa asked.

“Well, you wanted to beat them, right? To prove you were better? You couldn’t do it directly, but I made sure to do it for you!” Meg said, pumping her fist in the air. “I’m so hyped! That game was amazing!” Before Oikawa could speak up, a voice cut through the hallway.

“It’s Megara, right?” The two turned to the source of the voice. It was Sugawara from Karasuno. Meg nodded, and Oikawa took a step back as Suga came closer. “I’m-“

“Suga-san, I know.”

“You can call me Suga,” he smiled. Oikawa frowned. ‘What is he doing here?’

“Anyways, um…I was wondering…if you’d take this?” Suga shyly offered Meg a slip of paper. “It’s my number. I’m sorry, I’m not usually this direct and it’s my first time doing something like this, but I just think you’re really pretty.” His face was beet red, and Meg was also flustered. Oikawa on the other hand was less than unimpressed. ‘Damn. He really has no game. Is Meg gonna take it? Why do I care?’

“Um…I’m sorry Suga, you seem really nice, but I already like someone else,” Meg said quietly. Suga just smiled, rubbing the back of his head.

“No, it’s totally fine! Good luck with whoever that is!” Suga said quickly, then walking away. Oikawa had to stop himself from laughing. ‘He looks like a dog with his tail between his legs.’

“Let’s go, Oikawa,” Meg said quickly, dragging him down the hallway by the sleeve of his cardigan.

“Woah, slow down Meggy! Why are you so flustered?”

“Guys never approach me like that, and I’ve never had to reject someone before,” Meg explained, her cheeks still red. “It feels awful.”

“You get used to it,” Oikawa shrugged. Meg just frowned.

“I never will. I hate that feeling. I feel so guilty.”

“So why reject him?” Oikawa asked, genuinely curious. “Suga’s a nice guy. Funny. Charming. His teammates certainly trust him. What was wrong with him?”

“Nothing! It’s not like there was anything wrong with him,” Meg said, stopping in her tracks. “It’s just like I said- I have someone else I like right now.”

“Oh,” Oikawa said, suddenly losing all interest in the conversation. ‘Why? Why did that…hurt? My stomach dropped. Why did it drop? Why do I care at all?’

“Oh? Is that all you have to say?” Meg asked, trying her best to keep a straight face. Oikawa just nodded, keeping his gaze glued onto the floor. Meg scoffed, letting go of his sleeve.

“Alright, Okra. Be like that.” And with that, Meg quickly stormed off, leaving Oikawa with his thoughts.

‘Why does she care so much?’ he internally scoffed, kicking at some dust on the ground. ‘It’s not like I care. She can be with whoever she wants, right? But why does that idea make me want to scream? I don’t control her. She’s her own person. Damn. Besides, who am I kidding? I don’t have time for anything outside of volleyball. It’s going to be my future. I don’t have time for a girl. Right?’

And with that, Oikawa sullenly walked home.

-

After finishing his homework, Oikawa realized he felt empty. Empty because normally, he’d be spending the rest of the day with Meg. Instead, he decided to go back to watching his volleyball games. ‘I can't get distracted,’ he thought, ‘if I want to be the best.’ Suddenly, he got a text.

Meggy :))  
Come over?

Okra ^u^  
Busy

Meggy :))  
Please?  
It’s important

Okra ^u^  
Fine

“Mom! I’m going out!” Oikawa exclaimed. His mom came out of the kitchen, a scorn look on her face.

“This late?”

“It’s really important! I’ll be back soon!”

“Fine. Megara’s house?” Oikawa nodded, and his mom just sighed and waved at him to go. 

“Young love,” she murmured under her breath.

-

Oikawa jogged up to Meg’s house, frowning at the open gate. ‘What’s going on? Is Meg in danger?’ The thought sent a shiver down his spine. Then, he looked up at the house and stepped back in shock.

Black smoke was coming out of the windows, and a bright orange flame could be seen from the inside. 

“Fuck,” Oikawa whispered under his breath. “Shit. Is Meggy in there?” He quickly dialed the fire department, trying his best to stay calm. He gave them Meg’s address, and they’d be there in a few minutes. Oikawa turned his attention back to the house.

Meg. Was Meg in there?

“MEG!” Oikawa yelled, walking closer to the house. He was hoping, praying she could hear him through the opened windows. The black smoke was getting thicker by the second. If she was in there, she would be suffocating. “MEGGY! ARE YOU IN THERE?”

No response. Oikawa’s brain was getting more and more jumbled. ‘What should I do? What if she’s still in there? What if she’s burning to death?’ Silent tears streamed down Oikawa’s cheeks. Meg couldn’t die. Meg wasn’t allowed to die while he sat there and did nothing about it. Oikawa quickly wrapped his thin windbreaker around his nose as a makeshift mask and took a deep breath. Then, in one swift kick, he busted down her door. ‘I’ll pay her back for that later, but I have a feeling she’ll have a lot more than a door to deal with.’

The flames, when exposed to the sudden burst of oxygen, roared furiously before calming down a little. ‘Alright, Oikawa, in and out’ he thought to himself, stepping into the house. He immediately saw the source of the fire- the entire kitchen was engulfed in flames, sending a choking black smoke through the rest of the house. Oikawa sighed in relief. ‘At least I know she isn’t burning to death.’

Oikawa crawled on the floor to avoid the black smoke. He quickly climbed up the stairs, trying his best to stay conscious. He was sweating profusely, and the smoke was making him dizzy. ‘You’re not allowed to pass out,’ he furiously told himself. ‘You’re not allowed to leave Meggy to die.’ Once he was on the second floor, he made his way to Meggy’s room, still on his hands and knees.

Megara was passed out on the floor, a notebook next to her, and her phone in her hands. ‘What on Earth was she doing?’ Oikawa thought. He made his way over to Meg and tried to shake her awake to no avail. ‘Shit. Shee must have inhaled a lot of the smoke. God, what was so important that she let her kitchen burst into flames?’ Then, he noticed the open page of the notebook she’d been writing in. Curious, he took a look.

Oikawa,

Damn, I sound like an idiot. Why am I writing this out? It’s really not that deep. Let’s see…

There’s so much about you I don’t understand. You put volleyball before your own happiness, which is admirable to a point until it’s just unbearable. I want you to be happy, but I don’t think you’ll ever be happy not playing volleyball. God, this sounds so stupid. Whatever. It’s fine.

I wish I made you happy. Does that sound dumb? 

When I told Suga I liked someone else, I was hoping you’d take the hint. And I think you did take it. But you were so blatantly uninterested. It was all over your face, and in the moment, I was heartbroken and hurt. So I ran off. 

But I just want you to be happy. And if volleyball is the only thing that’s going to do that, I’ll stand behind you every step of the way as a friend. Even if you don’t reciprocate my feelings, I’d like to stay friends. I’ve never bonded with anyone so quickly before. I’d hate to lose that to stupid feelings.

But I hope you know you aren’t just volleyball. Sure, most of your life is volleyball, and it’s your passion, but it’s not your whole life. Am I even making sense? I don’t even know at this point. I’m probably just gonna chicken out and stuff this under my bed anyway. I’m not saying stop playing volleyball, I’m just saying take time for other things. 

You strive to be the best. You strive for perfection. You say you hate Kageyama because he’s cocky, but I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re scared he’ll be better than you. You push yourself so hard, and I admire that about you. But if you push yourself too hard, you put yourself in a position where deep inside, you’re lonely. And I don’t think that’s what you want, but you’re just unconsciously doing it to yourself. 

I just wish I could make you happy. Which sounds so pathetic but it’s fine.

Don’t worry, I’ll get over it, and then we can go back to daily k-dramas!

-Meggy

Oikawa blinked, his heart sinking. Before he could process any of what she wrote, the smell of smoke reminded him that he was on a limited timer. He stood up, inhaling as little smoke as he could. He gently scooped up Meg, and as a last-minute whim, picked up the notebook too. Then, he ran straight out of the house. By then, neighbors had gathered around the house, murmuring worriedly about the girl who lived there. He gently set Meg down on her lawn, relieved to see she was still breathing.

“Hang on, Meggy,” he murmured, brushing strands of hair away from her face. He gently kissed her on the forehead, which was something he’d just felt the need to do. “The fire department is coming, and they’ll take you to the hospital. I’ll stay with you every step of the way, okay? Just don’t go anywhere. Please.” He held onto her hand and refused to let it go throughout everything until the doctors at the hospital had to kick him out because no one but family was allowed in her room.

It was 3 A.M. when Oikawa returned home. His mother came down to scold him, but when she saw the tears rolling down his cheeks, she decided not to press him any harder. 

-

Megara hadn’t been in class for the past 3 days. While everyone else was worried, Oikawa was deep in thought. Meg’s words had been repeating themselves in his mind ever since that night, and he couldn’t get them out. To make matters worse, the doctors refused to let him see her before her mom got there. Oikawa argued that she traveled, so who knows when she’d make it back to Japan. But no luck. Instead, Oikawa spent his time after practice sitting in the hospital waiting room and hoping her mom would show up so that he would be able to see her.

“Oikawa, are you okay?” Iwa asked carefully. The two were having another private rooftop lunch. Oikawa hadn’t spoken a word, but Iwa knew something was wrong. No insulting nickname. That’s how you know Iwa’s serious.’

“Totally. I’m fine,” Oikawa said, lying through his teeth. Iwa sighed loudly, signaling to Oikawa ‘I know that’s a lie.’ Oikawa sighed. “Fine. Iwa, do you think I’m…too into volleyball?” Iwa thought about it for a minute.

“Depends on who you ask.”

“Well, I’m asking you.”

“I think yes,” Iwa said honestly. “If I’m being honest, you’re the only one who doesn’t have a life outside volleyball.”

“I have a life!” Oikawa protested. Iwa looked at him with a ‘really?’ face. “Fine, I don’t have a life. But what’s so bad about it?”

“Nothing, if you’re going to center your entire future around volleyball.”

“I am! I’m going into the big leagues after high school, mark my words!”

“Is that really all you want?”

“Of course! Am I supposed to want more?” Iwa just sighed.

“There’s so much more to life than this one sport, Trashykawa. Damn, you’re more hopeless than I thought you were.” There was silence between them. “Why are you asking this, anyway?” Oikawa debated whether or not he should be honest, but decided to just tell Iwa about Meg’s letter. It’s not like Meg was there to stop him. Iwa thought for a second, then nodded. “I agree with her. You should try to find a life outside of volleyball.”

“But I love volleyball,” Oikawa frowned.

“I know. And she knows. Look, we’re not saying cut volleyball off,” Iwa said slowly, “we’re just saying that you don’t need to push yourself so hard to be the best. At the end of the day, there should be more to your life outside of volleyball. And you’re already the best in my eyes.” Oikawa smiled at his friend’s rare compliment.

“I know. Thanks, Iwa.”

“Anytime. So…Megara?” Oikawa was silent. 

“She…gets me. She understands me.”

“Plus, she’s the first person who's tried to expand your narrow volleyball borders, instead of leaving because of them,” Iwa said, alluding to Oikawa’s ex-girlfriend. 

“I feel happy when I’m around her. I could spend the rest of my life with her. I feel like when I’m with her, everything is okay. What is that?” Iwa just gave his friend a small smile and a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“It’s called love. You should tell her. Tell Meg you love her.”

“You…actually make sense for once, Iwa.”

“Shut up, Loserkawa. You’ll never get this from me ever again, so cherish it.”

“Understood.”

-

“Here? Again? My, you must be very patient,” one of the nurses laughed. Oikawa just shrugged, taking his usual seat in the waiting room.

“I just…really care about her,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. The nurse laughed again, waving him off.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me! I’m all for young love,” she winked. “Just let me know if you need anything!” Oikawa smiled at her, then began scrolling through social media. He rarely had time to do this before, but it wasn’t like he could do much in a waiting room. He was still sweaty from practice, but he promised himself he’d sit there until Meg’s mom arrived. 

Just then, a frantic looking black-haired woman burst through the doors, her eyes desperately searching the room. She approached the front desk, tears in her eyes.

“Hi, um, I’m looking for my daughter? Megara Nakamura? Where is she?” Oikawa’s eyes widened, and he sprung up from his chair. She was actually here!

The nurse at the desk gave her the room number but stopped her before she could rush away. “Actually, that young man over there was been sitting here and waiting all week for you. If it’s alright with you, he’d like to see her too.” The woman turned to Oikawa, a questioning look in her eye. He calmly approached her, trying to suppress his nerves.

“Hello ma’am,” he said, politely bowing. “I’m Toru Oikawa and I’d appreciate it if-“

“Oh!” The woman exclaimed, a big smile on her face. “You’re Oikawa! Yes, Meg told me all about you! Come with me! And please, just call me Hina.”

For as little as Meg talked about her mom, it seemed as if they were awfully close. Ms. Nakamura was just as bubbly and talkative as Meg, and Oikawa found himself struggling to keep up with her. In that tiny elevator, he almost felt suffocated by how energetic the older woman was. ‘At least I know where Meg got it from,’ Oikawa chuckled to himself.

“Really, I was in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, trekking with other lawyers to build a case against the people responsible for the horrible deforestation happening there, with absolutely no service! Zero! None at all! So imagine my surprise when I finally get back into Peru and into a city and I find a ton of missed calls from the hospital! I felt awful, really. Here my daughter was, stuck in this hospital and struggling all by herself. You can bet I hopped on a plane as soon as I found out! I would never leave my Meg by herself like this, trust me!”

“Of course,” Oikawa said, “I’m glad you got here, Nakamura-sa- I mean, Hina.” Hina just wriggled uncomfortably, watching the elevator number slowly go up. 

“I hope Meg is okay,” Hina said quietly. “Damn, I really do have the worst timing. If she’s hurt, I’ll never forgive myself.” She turned to Oikawa, a genuine smile on her lips. “You were the one who got her out, right? Thank you, Oikawa.” He just nodded.

“You don’t have to thank me. I care too much about her to let her burn.”

“I know,” Hina grinned. “I can tell by the way Meg talks about you and describes what you do for her. I appreciate it, Oikawa. Knowing someone’s watching over my little girl while I’m away who loves her just as much as I do…it’s really comforting.”

Oikawa nodded again, the word making his heart warm. 

‘Love, huh? Yeah, that sounds about right.’

-

“Meg, sweetie!” Hina exclaimed, bursting into the hospital room. Oikawa, who’d been expecting Meg to be hooked up to tubes and scary machines, found the room to be underwhelming. Meg was sitting in bed, reading a book. She wasn’t hooked up to anything. ‘But,’ Oikawa told himself with a smile, ‘that means she’s okay. That I got her out in time.’

“Mom!” Meg smiled, accepting the big hug her mother gave. “Finally! I was wondering when you’d get here!”

“Sweetie, I am so, so sorry,” Hina pouted, stroking her daughter’s face. “I was stranded with no service! But I’m here now! And so is…” Hina wound up excitedly, motioning to Oikawa.

“Hey Meggy,” Oikawa smiled. Meg seemed surprised to see him, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of fuchsia. 

“Okra! Hey,” Meg replied. “Mom, could you give us a minute?”

“Of course dear,” Hina said quickly, walking away and winking at Oikawa. ‘Oh boy.’ Once Hina was out of the room, Oikawa walked closer to Meg.

“How are you?” He asked gently. She ignored his question and got straight to the point.

“You saw the notebook next to me?” Oikawa blinked, then slowly nodded. She sighed, then groaned in embarrassment, burying her face in her pillow. “God, that’s so embarrassing! I’m sorry, Oikawa. You never asked to get thrown into my mixing bowl of emotions. Really, just pretend like I never said anything.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” Oikawa cut in quickly. Meg’s eyes widened, and she looked up at her friend to try and read his face for any signs of dishonesty. None.

“You…don't?”

“No, not really,” Oikawa said bashfully, rubbing the back of his head. “Meggy, I…I think I love you.”

Silence.

“Meg?”

A small sniffle came from the pillow Meg and buried her face in. Immediately, Oikawa was concerned. “Meggy? What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Why are you crying?”

She lifted her face, and just gave a small laugh. 

“I’m not crying out of sadness, don’t worry. I’m just…really happy, Okra. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

“I thought about it and…you’re right,” Oikawa admitted. “I need more for my life than volleyball. And…I’d love it if you’d be a part of it?” He mentally cursed himself. ‘Damn, I’m really not good at this, huh?’

But Meg understood. She smiled at him through her tears and grabbed his hand. Surprised by the sudden gesture, it was Oikawa’s turn to be flustered. “I’d love to, Oikawa. I’d really love to.” He smiled, gently kissing the girl on the cheek.

‘So this is what true happiness is,’ Oikawa thought, looking at the messy-haired girl in her hospital dress. She’d been stuck, unable to change, shower, or even brush her hair for a whole week. ‘Still,’ he smiled, ‘she’s the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. I can’t stop smiling. What’s wrong with me? I’ve never been this flustered over a girl. It’s always been the other way around. But…’ he trailed off in his thoughts as he looked at Meg’s beaming face. ‘But this feels just as good.’

“Oikawa?”

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

The two looked into each other’s eyes. They were silent, but the looks on their faces said everything that needed to be said.

“Meggy, what even happened? Why did your kitchen set on fire?” Meggy just chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.

“I…was trying to make milk bread. Iwa gave me his mom’s recipe! And it’s your favorite, and I was going to apologize, so I figured your favorite snack might help my case?”

Silence.

“Oikawa?”

“I think I just fell for you even more.”

“Shut up, Shittykawa.”

“Not you too!”

-

Epilogue

“Meggy, they did it,” Oikawa sighed, taking a seat. “They finally did it. They took A Silent Voice off of Netflix.” Megara stayed silent, just like she always was. Oikawa just sighed again.

“I know, it’s just a dumb movie. It’s stupid, yet….” Oikawa felt himself tearing up but refused to let himself cry in front of her. So, he swallowed down his tears and just looked away. “It meant something to me, y’know? That dumb, heart-breaking movie meant something to me. Didn’t it mean something to you, too?” 

No response.

“Of course it did, that’s a stupid question. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Oikawa corrected himself, trying not to look at her. “It was the first movie we ever watched together. Well, technically not together I guess. But you recommended it to me. It was the first thing we ever bonded over. We had a good, long run, huh?” Oikawa chuckled, reminiscing on their past. “And after I saved you from your burning house? I knew we were meant to be”

Silence.

Oikawa just laughed quietly to himself. “It’s funny, huh? How fate works. If you hadn’t almost burnt your house down, you probably would’ve just apologized and we would’ve gone on with our lives. Separately. Meggy, I’m so glad you were put into my life. I don’t think I knew happiness before you came. So thank you.”

Nothing.

“But I feel like that was our movie. And they took it off. And now I can’t watch it without paying for it, which just feels wrong. I mean, I would, but I know you’d scold me over reckless spending. Even though I’m a pro volleyball player,” he grumbled playfully. “I make so much money, I don’t think paying a few dollars to watch a movie would drive us to bankruptcy. But alas! I know you’d hate the idea of buying the movie when there are so many more on Netflix. So I won’t. I promise.”

Nothing again.

“I just wanted to say thanks, I guess. For sticking by my side through it all. When high school ended, and I was picked up by the Argentine Volleyball Federation and had to move to Argentina? You moved with me without thinking twice. You went to every single one of my games, even the ones where I thought I was doomed to lose, you being there flew me through to victory. When I had to leave you behind and tour other countries to play, you made sure we stayed connected. Even though you could’ve left, you stayed. And I love you for that. I love you so much. And I just hope you know that.”

Oikawa finally stood up, finally unable to hold back the tears. He looked down at the tombstone, wiping it clean. ‘Meggy’s just as disorganized, even as a tombstone,’ he thought bitterly. He crouched, tracing the etched lines in the tombstone.

Megara Nakamura  
Beloved daughter and wife.  
1994-2017

“Twenty-three…you were twenty fucking three,” Oikawa said through gritted teeth. “It’s not fair. We had so much more to experience together. We had so much of our lives to live together, Meggy. It’s not fucking fair.”

It’d been cancer. It’d slowly eaten away at Meg until she couldn’t stand anymore. Oikawa had been ready to retire from his career right then and there, but Megara refused to let him. ‘It’s temporary, Okra,’ she’d said, ‘I’ll be back up and at ‘em in no time! Don’t waste your career sitting in a hospital room!’

But she’d been lying through her teeth. And when her organs finally gave up, her dying wish had been for Oikawa to continue his career. ‘To be the star he was born to be’ were her exact words. Oikawa just sighed again, tears streaming down his cheeks. ‘Idiot,’ he thought, ‘I should’ve been there. Why did you push me away?’

But he had to honor her. So every day for the past year, he’d been diligently practicing volleyball. It felt like he was back in high school, where nothing but volleyball mattered. But this time, it was true.

Because the only person he’d ever truly loved was gone. So what else could he do?

“I’m not happy anymore,” he laughed bitterly. “I’m sorry, Meggy. I know you wanted me to be, and you thought volleyball would give me that when you were gone, but you were wrong. You were my happiness, Meggy. You loved me before I even knew how to love. So how am I supposed to smile without you? How am I supposed to be happy knowing you won’t be there to cheer me on?”

He looked at the tombstone, then gave it a small smile.

“But I know one day, we’ll be back together. And we’ll have all the time in the world. You’ll wait for me, right?”

He stood up, stretching his tired muscles. It’d been another brutal practice session, and he’d pushed his body until his coach barked at him to leave. But that’s all he did anymore. Practice, eat, sleep, repeat. 

“I’ll wait for you, Meggy. Don’t worry. It’s not like I could find anyone who’d make me happy anyways. I’ll spend my entire life waiting for you.”

With a bitter smile, Oikawa turned to leave. 

“I’ll see you again, Meggy. Please wait for me.”


End file.
